Torquay United v Mansfield Town - 19/10/13

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AustrianAndyGull
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Torquay United v Mansfield Town - 19/10/13

Post by AustrianAndyGull »

"Oh hi Alan, you're back early love" said a surprised Lynn.

Lynn is Alan's wife of 25 years and has been through thick and thin with the beleaguered Gulls boss including supporting him with the trauma of managing in Sc*nthorpe and understanding him in the magical squirrel incident. A an apparent trivial event which contrived to change the man into a footballing Shaman forever.

For many, Knill's spiritual approach to managing Torquay and his unwavered faith in the process of sticking square pegs in round holes has indeed led the loyal yellow army into altered states of consciousness. Even at Wycombe on Saturday I was thinking, "What the f*cking hell am I doing here?!" on more than one occasion and I was conscious too but I wanted it so much to be altered. It couldn't be, I had to stay until the death in torment of another game where elation was ethereally transformed into misery in the blink of an eye. I was begging for Shaman Knill to release my demons but I have a dreaded feeling that there are dark forces at work here.

"Evening dear, we got beat again so I saved myself a few minutes not clapping the travelling fans at full time by shooting straight off down the tunnel so I could be interviewed by TalkSport" replied Knill. :na:

"Yes love but that would only be a few minutes saved and what about those fans who had come from far and wide to get to Wycombe? I heard them chanting Alan Knill's Yellow Army on many occasions this afternoon when I tuned in to Gullsplayer " continued Lynn.

"F*ck 'em" cried Knill. :@

"Anyway, we're at home next weekend, I can clap them then. Ooh what's that you've made dear? It smells delightful!" an excited Alan gasped as he glanced over at the kitchen table at some of Lynns home baking delights.
Last edited by AustrianAndyGull on 14 Oct 2013, 12:21, edited 2 times in total.
Strangely enough it was Pope Gregory the 9th inviting me for drinks aboard his steam yacht, the saucy sue currently wintering in montego bay with the England cricket team and the Balanese Goddess of plenty.
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Post by berkshire yellow »

:goodpost: :goodpost: I now force my self religiously to read your game threads, although i'll never get that time left I still love them, thanks
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Post by AustrianAndyGull »

Cheers Berk! Err sorry Berks! :na: :lol:

I've changed my mind about the music selection and have plumped for Faith No More.
Strangely enough it was Pope Gregory the 9th inviting me for drinks aboard his steam yacht, the saucy sue currently wintering in montego bay with the England cricket team and the Balanese Goddess of plenty.
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Post by Scott Brehaut »

A Northerner has absolutely no right whatsoever to comment on how to speak properly.

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Post by tomogull »

Andy - where do you get your pills from ?? I want some !!!! Brilliant zany, mad read. :clap:
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Post by wivelgull »

Yes, I''ll be going, although I swore 'never again!' after the York City match. But then I've been swearing 'never again' for donkey's years now. Is there any chance of us walking away from Plainmoor on Saturday feeling excited and happy and satisfied? Very little, I fear. Will we be walking away despondent, gloomy, and swearing 'never again'? - yes, I fear so. Still, you keep on keeping on, don't you? As we are now more or less in the middle of the worst season for a long time at Plainmoor I can at least look forward to a pasty and the view from Daddyhole Plain; who knows, I might even meet Robin Stubbs going for a walk. There might be something to cheer at Plainmoor, but as there hasn't been much for a long time now I won't hold my breath.
The crowd, at its most silent in 50+ years at the York City game might stir itself, but only if we're inspired by the happenings on the pitch. I'm expecting a defeat, Mansfield's league position indicates that, while our defence is so porous that anything less than three goals conceded will be a bonus. Still, the loanees may have sparkling games. As always, one lives in hope, so that's why I'll take the groaning road again and once again make the hundred mile round journey.
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Post by brucie »

As wivelgull is going I have decided to go as well. I do agree with his assessment though. Mansfield are no great shakes but have a winning mentality having got promoted last year. They have over double the points we have so there appears every chance we will be in the bottom two come 5 pm on saturday.
At least we can console ourselves with not being in a relegation battle which apparently will not happen until April if some on here are to be believed.
Personally I don't think it will be a relegation battle by then because the way we are going we will be tailed off by January if we don't start winning soon.
Give Knill some credit - he has somehow managed to put together the worst team since Roberts and Ludicous Kubic.
Lets hope Rice can be consigned to the Western League dustbin where he belongs and be replaced by Poke who is miles from being match fit but at least is a goalkeeper.
Elsewhere we are looking consistent - consistently bloody awful. In Tonge and Nico we must have the two most pedestrian full backs in League 2. Possibly Nico will be be replaced by Cruise - another defender who can't err defend.
We have a half fit Pearce accompanied by a loanee with no league experience in that position.
Take your pick in midfield and out wide and we will most likely be spearheaded by Hawley up front who looks the worst Torquay centre forward since Jean Pierre Simb.
A 4-1 hammering looks imminent.
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Post by Scott Brehaut »

At least you are confident we will score one

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Post by Lloyder5 »

Don't know what's more disappointing the team's results or the fans. Wivel's posts have a certain sense of whimsy about them harking back to a golden age but we know about those and to his credit he does keep coming back for more. Brucie's however are like reading something written or spoken by a rival fan and I suppose that's what gets me wound-up. I've no idea what the score will be, I think we have enough to turn the corner and if its on Saturday, then it would be lovely to see Brucie's words rammed back down his throat, metaphorically of course.
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Post by gullintwoplaces »

Lloyder5 wrote:Don't know what's more disappointing the team's results or the fans. Wivel's posts have a certain sense of whimsy about them harking back to a golden age but we know about those and to his credit he does keep coming back for more. Brucie's however are like reading something written or spoken by a rival fan and I suppose that's what gets me wound-up. I've no idea what the score will be, I think we have enough to turn the corner and if its on Saturday, then it would be lovely to see Brucie's words rammed back down his throat, metaphorically of course.
:goodpost:

Yes indeed. Why metaphorically?
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Post by brucie »

More than happy - I hope we win. The last time I predicted a result was that we would beat Cheltenham. Just can't see a victory on saturday though.
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Post by TeenageGull »

Just had a thought, Azeez is thriving on be wing so keep him here and allow bodin a more free role up front with hawley. Just a thought and I'm predicting 3-2 win
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Post by Lloyder5 »

gullintwoplaces wrote: :goodpost:

Yes indeed. Why metaphorically?
Because we should all play nicely on here! Glad to read Brucie is hoping for a win though :)
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Post by Yellow4life »

2-0 win. Hawley and Azeez.
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Post by Lloyder5 »

I don't normally read Andy's offerings, but I must say I really enjoyed the Magic Squirrel preface.
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