Torquay United Fans Forum

Who are the biggest sellers of ice cream in the middle east?







Walls of Jericho =D

Anyone out there know if this is the clubs best ever run of 'league' wins and/or unbeaten run? Five on the bounce and eleven without loss, I can't ever remember a run like this even when Gibbs, Gurney Watson and Gittens got the best part of 30 goals between them in 1998 from defence!

A mate of mine was looking for recommendations for a GDPR consultant. "Do you know anyone suitable?" he asked me.



"Oh yes I replied, I know a really good one. "But I can't tell you his name."

Two Japanese blokes bump into each other on holiday in Australia, and as they are the only Japanese in the hotel bar they strike up a conversation.
First Jap says he his from Wakayama, and the other one says "what a coincidence, so am I, I live close to the north of the river"
"Wow" says the first gentleman, "so do I. So what do you do?"
"I work at the sewage treatment plant" says Jap number 2
"So do I, this is incredible" says number 1, "I cant believe we've never met".
"Well" says number 2, "I work 12 hour nights".
"Ahh" says number 1, "I work 12 hour days, that's why we have never met"
"Yes" says Jap number 2, "we are like Two Nips that pass in the shite!"

SuperNickyWroe wrote: ↑21 Apr 2018, 20:09 evening all.
proud to say I was one of the 152.
unfortunately that's as good as it gets.
on to the game - controlled it and actually played well.
their goal was an unlucky one as it was deflected and gave Vince no chance.
it was the pen miss that cost us. Williams hit it well, but it was at a good height for a save.

dominated from that point, second half there was only one team in it - can only think that the pools had one chance following a scramble from a free kick. the red card was defo a red - even if the pool fans argued with me about it in the supporters club after
scott loach, who is a good goalie - kept them in it - he made three or four top saves - plus the pen.
we hit the post, reid went close twice as did healey and barnes.
it just wasn't our day.
or season.
the end.
good evening.

I thought they were going to kick off Chris, especially 'little man syndrome' at the bar, I looked for somewhere to put my glass down ready to **** one of them if they started but you did manage to calm them down a bit. God knows what they'll be like if they sink another division.... :slap:

Me and the Time Bandit have decided to go tomorrow, be having a pint in The Corner Flag before the game. might be the last one we see for some time........

A mate of mine was in the pub last night, he went for a slash and when he came back there was a Chinese bloke leaning on the bar where he'd been stood a few moments previous.
"Now then" says my mate, "do you know any martial arts, you know, Kung Fu, Karate, Ju Jitsu or owt like that?"
"Why you awsk? you wacist, is it becos I Chinese?" replies the Oriental gentleman angrily.
"No" says my mate, "Its because you're drinking my pint................"

Many years ago a mate of mine went to the barbers. "What style would you like?" asks the barber. "I'll have a Tony Curtis" says my mate.
After about twenty minutes snipping and shaving away he dusted my mate off and picked up the mirror to show the finished job. He'd shaved every last hair off, my mate was as bald as a coot!
"F**k me mate, what have you done? Do you know who Tony Curtis is?"
"Yea, course I do" replied the barber, "I've seen The King and I six times!"

I don't know whether you'd heard or not, but the World Origami Federation were in financial difficulties.






Well unfortunately they’ve folded.

He was just 2 years older than me, but looked 32 years older.

Yorkieandy wrote: ↑27 Jan 2018, 21:48 It's a trivial matter in the grand scheme of things but it's winding me up a bit now.

Names that footballers have on the back of their shirts.

Just watching Liverpool now and Van Dijk has the name 'VIRGIL' printed on the back of his shirt.

Yes technically it's his name and he might prefer being called that but what would it descend into of we had 'WAYNE' and not Rooney? 'HARRY' and not Kane? Everyone's Christian name or nickname instead of traditionally what is supposed to be on the back - SURNAMES!

Is it pretentiousness? I believe so.

Like Javier Hernandez has CHICARITO on the back. No, it's HERNANDEZ!

Obviously this section of the site seems to be dead on it's arse so don't expect a glut of replies but just wondered if anyone can remember any other players who had nicknames or daft names on the back of their shirts.

Traditionally we had numbers 1-11 on the backs of shirts which (roughly) corresponded with a position on the pitch! No 'No10 role' or 'false No9' (still no idea what that is)

First one I can remember was 'Jordi' instead of Cruyff at ManUre..... :slap:

It Watches.

Thought at first it would be a rip off of Stephen Kings 'IT', but it is instead a mish mash of The Shining, Nightmare On Elm Street, Halloween and Psycho.

Watchable, 6/10

Mrs Beard and I went to see the Red Arrows yesterday. There were gasps of oooh and ahhh as the crowd watched in amazement.

There was near miss after near miss and this had some people covering their eyes and shaking their heads in disbelief.

It was a good half hour worth of entertainment, but in the end she finally managed to park the car and we made our way to the air show. :-o

Derek Adams the Gargs manager flies to Kabul to watch a young Afghani play football. He is suitably impressed and arranges for the player to come over.

Two weeks later the Gargs are 2-0 down to Exeter with only 20 minutes left The manager gives the young Afghani striker the nod, and on he goes.

The lad is a sensation. He scores 3 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for The Gargs . The fans are delighted, the players and the coach are delighted and the media love the new star.

When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football.

'Hello mum, guess what?' he says 'I played for 20 minutes today, we were 2 - 0 down but I scored 3, they call it a hat-trick, and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the press, they all love me.'

'Just wonderful,' says his mum, 'Let me tell you about my day

Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and assaulted, she would have been raped but for a passing police vehicle.

Your brother has joined a local gang of looters and set fire to some buildings and all while you tell me that you were having a great time!!'

The young lad is very upset. 'What can I say mum, but I'm really sorry.'

Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!' says his mum.

'It's your bloody fault we came to Plymouth in the first place! =D

SuperNickyWroe wrote: ↑13 Jan 2018, 17:27 looking forward to going to these last few northern away games this season.....

as it'll be a bit of a drive for even the closest one next season.

Message me mate might join you for one or two.

Don't know why must have been banged on head........