by Gullscorer » 12 Apr 2014, 17:19
No penalty need ever be missed in the future!
I have developed a simple technique for taking penalty kicks which ensures that goalkeepers will be beaten every time. It's so simple that I'm surprised nobody ever thought of it before. With a minimal amount of practice, even the most inexperienced and nervous player with the weakest of kicks will be able to score every time from the penalty spot!
Despite never having played a game of football in my life, I have actually proved the infallibility of this technique in practice. It is based on insight gained during my years of experience as a snooker hall and pub pool player, and it works every time!
And now, for the first time ever, this amazing method is being made available to all Torquay United players and supporters and local amateur footballers. A one-page leaflet with full instructions on how to achieve Perfect Penalty Proficiency can be yours now, months before this brilliant development is offered to the world!
Make yourself a hero. Simply send £5 (cash, cheque or postal order) in an envelope to me at the following address:
Dammit, my landlord's just told me I'm to be evicted.. This will have to wait until I find another bedsit somewhere.. 
[b]No penalty need ever be missed in the future!
I have developed a simple technique for taking penalty kicks which ensures that goalkeepers will be beaten every time. It's so simple that I'm surprised nobody ever thought of it before. With a minimal amount of practice, even the most inexperienced and nervous player with the weakest of kicks will be able to score every time from the penalty spot!
Despite never having played a game of football in my life, I have actually proved the infallibility of this technique in practice. It is based on insight gained during my years of experience as a snooker hall and pub pool player, and it works every time!
And now, for the first time ever, this amazing method is being made available to all Torquay United players and supporters and local amateur footballers. A one-page leaflet with full instructions on how to achieve Perfect Penalty Proficiency can be yours now, months before this brilliant development is offered to the world!
Make yourself a hero. Simply send £5 (cash, cheque or postal order) in an envelope to me at the following address:
Dammit, my landlord's just told me I'm to be evicted.. This will have to wait until I find another bedsit somewhere..[/b] :(
