) are back at Plainmoor for the visit of the monkey hangers from the North East, Hartlepool United. For those unaware, the football club have been given the nickname all because of a folk tale which says that during the Napoleonic Wars a French ship was wrecked off the coast near the town and the only survivor was a monkey allegedly dressed in a French uniform for a 'laugh' by the crew. The locals decided to question the monkey on the beach thinking he was a frenchie like Scotty B, presumably asking him what was his favourite - bananas or nuts? When the hairy primate (the monkey not Scott 
) failed to reply obviously because he couldn't speak as he was a monkey ( although us northerners manage ok ) they hung him on the beach!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! SIMIAN MURDERERS!!!!!!!! 
Hartlepool have begun the new season appallingly after their relegation from league 1 and have yet to score a league goal although perhaps you could argue they have had a tricky start what with losses to Southend, Fleetwood and Rochdale and a 0-0 shocker at York. I know someone who went to that game and they said they had forgotten it as soon as they left Bootham Crescent. They did manage to notch at Forest in the CC1 Cup but went down 3-1 in the process.
Pools are now managed by ex-Forest and Middlesbrough defender Colin Cooper and he has another ex Boro player as his assistant, Craig Hignett. The pair will be hoping their revamped squad will be able to get at least a point on the board on Saturday but I reckon our lads will have something to say about that, especially after the confidence boosting win gained at Northampton last weekend. That said, I am certainly not underestimating our opponents and recognise that they will give us a tough game.
They have lost some decent players in the summer including Peter Hartley who went to Stevenage and also Ritchie Humphreys who now finds himself a few miles up the road from me at Chesterfield. Coming in has been Michael Duckworth, a right back, after a successful trial and the lad has expressed his sadness that mum and dad Jack and Vera are no longer around to see him play in the football league. Also arriving is winger Jack Compton who has had more clubs than Peter Stringfellow (old joke sorry
), striker Nialle Rodney from Telford who i'm surprised isn't called Nialle Rodneye given his parents insistence on adding an unnecessary 'e' onto the end of his first name, on loan Boro duo Christian Burgess and Matthew Dolan and also the promoted youth teamer Zak Boagey. I wonder if he will make the Pools our boagey team? I wonder if Knill will keep the same 11 that started at San Sixfields and leave Bodin on the bench? Billy certainly did ok for the half and hour he was on the pitch there and also he had a couple of glimmers of hope against Morecambe. Perhaps it is a wise move to keep him as a sub for a while to give him a chance to come on hopefully when we are attacking the most (normally the last 3o minutes so far!) and find it easier to ease into the game. I hope Callum Ball can get on the scoresheet as I feel his performances deserve a goal and hopefully the crowd can get behind Nico from the off and not get stuck into him if he begins slowly once again.
I haven't got a clue how many fans Hartlepool will bring down to Plainmoor but I reckon around 100 ish? They will be most welcome as i'm sure we will be when we make the journey to the North East for the return game. I am going for a 0-0 draw in this as we have scored in each game and there must be a game just around the corner in which we won't score. I also don't believe Hartlepool have enough in the locker to make too many chances at our place but I think they may be resolute so i'll go for us to be on top but not being able to break them down and 0-0.
As it's a home game the thread will be a bit boring as there isn't much to write about other than the opposition and so hopefully Fleetwood should be a little more interesting for those that way inclined.
I won't be going to this as I live 270 miles away but I will be down for the Cheltenham game on the 21st which will be my first visit to Plainmoor this season 
. Please get your arses down to the Devon theatre of dreams and support the lads for this one and hopefully we can get back to back wins for the first time this season. The man in the middle for this one is Bonnie's other half Oliver Langford and the portents aren't great for us. His last 3 games reffing us has led to our 4-0 home loss by Leicester in last years CC1 Cup, the 3-2 last minute debacle at home to AFC Wimbledon last season and before that the 5-2 home humiliation by Gillingham. Oh sh*t!!
His assistants are Adam Bromley and Andrew Turner (who has been to Plainmoor before as I remember telling you all that he shares the same name as my uncle who lives in Antwerp! ) ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE SAME TIME TOMORROW!! =Z The pointless 4th official (unless the ref has to leave the pitch due to an IBS attack and then he may be required) is Andrew Bennett. Gordon Bennett.
I trust you will all find this thread more digestible and that there will be no silly tl:dr shenanigans going off (only kidding Happy! :na: ) you can save it for the Fleetwood one instead.
As always, COME ON YOU TORQUAY BOYS!!!!!!! COME ON YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YELLOWS!!
