New Gulls interim boss Alan Knill took over the helm for his first game, the 1-0 home defeat to Port Vale hoping to instill some confidence, belief and positivity into United's play and to some extent he was successful; however, there is still a mountain to climb and Knill is all too aware of this i'm sure. He will have seen the performance against Port Vale and with some tweaking and some improvement which can be expected, there is no reason why we shouldn't be able to beat the men from Buckinghamshire.
Wycombe themselves found themselves in a spot of trouble at the foot of the table earlier on in the season but have turned things around under the stewardship of player manager Gareth Ainsworth and they now lie in 15th place on 42 points and should be safe barring a complete Torquay-esque collapse in form. They can be a bit unpredictable as they have beaten Gillingham, Fleetwood and Rotherham away from Adams Park so they have the ability to beat the better teams in the league, it's just they lose to the sh*t ones so we should be ok.
The reverse fixture ended in a 2-1 victory for Wycombe predictably as at the time they couldn't buy a win and looked a really poor side. We rocked up at Adams Park and despite Rene Howe pulling a goal out of nowhere to cancel out Gary Doherty's 33rd minute header just before half time, Ling thought it was job done so we sat back, let them have the ball and play like Brazil and they got the winner. We made an awful side look amazing that day and it was up there with the worst Torquay performances of all time.
Dean Morgan, who got the winner that day was on a short term loan deal from Chesterfield but he has signed a contract until the end of the season.He has 8 goals in all competitions and is their joint second top scorer along with English-born Jamaican Joel Grant. Grant was added to the Wycombe squad in the summer of 2011 on a free after his release from Crewe. Crewe signed him from Aldershot for £130,000 which then represented a club record fee for the Hampshire club.
Other striking options for the Chairboys include Matt McClure who IS their top scorer with 9 goals in all competitions. He has recently been tied down to the club until 2015. They can call upon ex-Gulls trickster Jo Kuffour who i had the privelege of watching in my first ever season of supporting Torquay. He made 148 appearances for the mighty yellows. He has only 2 goals this season but is often used as a substitute. Dennis Oli, the former Gills man is also an option although he hasn't really had a look in this season and is yet to score and likewise youth prospect Olly Taylor who is one for the future.
In the middle of the park they have Portuguese on loan QPR winger Bruno Andrade who has scored twice in 20 appearances for Wanderers, Sam Wood who spent nearly 4 years at Brentford before being signed last summer. Matt Spring is also an experienced player that Ainsworth likes to play regularly and he has had more sides than Jonny Vegas at a Frankie & Benny's.
They also have Josh Scowen who could return after serving a suspension for picking up 10 bookings, Stewart Lewis, Matt Bloomfield , Ivorian Georges Ehui and not forgetting to mention the man who is older than God, Gareth Ainsworth. "He's older than God, he's older than Gooooooooooooood! Gareth Ainsworth, he's older than God!" :na: Cracking player though and has done one hell of a job thus far so full marks to the lad, errr bloke, errrr old bloke. ( Sh*t! If he is technically deemed as old, then i'm well on my way to the wrinkles! I'm only 4 years younger!
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! ). I'll have to get some of that cosmetic stuff that women get to make them look 10 years younger. It doesn't work mind but women don't know that. If you bottled some fox poo and mixed it with scent of elderflower, labelled it Foxyflower and claimed it would get rid of wrinkles and make you look like Tulisa then i guarantee they would buy it. Moisturise as normal like we all do but if you're getting old then you're getting old and there's nothing you can do about it. There are no magic potions and no quick fixes, just lots of money to be made by cosmetics companies. Have plastic surgery or botox by all means but i don't know of ANY celeb who doesn't look like a freak once they've had it done. 
Anyway, on to the Wycombe defence. I certainly hope they don't apply foundation before games or indeed have a nail studio inside the dressing room. I know they certainly don't have a hairdressers in there as Ainsworth has banned them. Joking really, i used to have hair like Ainsworths but it got too greasy and i looked like Jesus (even though he didn't exist but i looked like the fictional Jesus). I had it all lopped off and now i look like a suspect from Crimewatch! I've nothing against long hair in blokes so long as they wash it regularly. I hope you do with yours Bix!
What product? Wash n Go? Head n Shoulders? Again, short hair in women just doesn't look right either. It looked ok on Sigourney Weaver but she turned out to be an Alien.Where was i? Oh yes, the Wycombe defence. I may be doing them a dis-service and highlight my lack of knowledge about bits of league 2 football but there are a few of them i have not really heard of and have no idea what they are like. Charles Dunne, Anthony Stewart, Dave Winfield, Michael Harriman who is on loan from QPR, Grenadian Leon Johnson, Antigua & Barbuda defender Marvin McCoy and Grant Basey who is the only one i know a little about.
I'm sure lot's of us know about their goalkeeper though. Step forward Mr Jordan Archer, oh sorry, you can't can you because you have a disability which causes your feet to become stuck in the ground rendering you almost immobile when taking goal kicks. The condition is a new one to the medical profession and bizarrely it seems to be exacerbated when Wycombe are ahead in games or drawing and under the cosh. I seem to recall that there was only one other 'keeper afflicted with this same disability and that was Jose Veiga at Macclesfield Town. His was the worst the doctors had seen as his feet became stuck even when Macc were behind! So, so sad for these lads it really is. So just a message of support for Archer for tuesday night, kick the ball within the time allocated or F*CK OFF FROM FOOTBALL!!! You are not wanted.
For those of you that aren't aware, Archer seriously riled a lot of our fans for some abhorrent timewasting during our game at Adams Park in October. I was there and it was shockingly bad. This same goalkeeper was the one attacked on the pitch by the Gillingham fan recently for guess what? Timewasting. I don't condone random attacks on goalkeepers but it doesn't half wind people up. I don't mind a bit of gamesmanship and a bit of trying to gain an advantage but this guy must have seriously wasted about 7 or 8 minutes which the ref didn't add on. He was booked by the ref in our game after being spoken to time and time again BEFORE the booking and AFTER the booking and part of the problem is weak refs. If i was the ref i'd have spoken to him and given him a warning, booked him the second time and the third time sent him off. It really is that simple and i don't know why refs are so weak and cause issues that shouldn't arise if they ref with honesty and common sense.
Anyway, expect loads of timewasting from Archer on tuesday even it is 0-0. It's a shame too as he looked like a really decent 'keeper. He is on loan from Spurs and has signed until 2015 but IMO he should sign for Wycombe permanently as he hasn't a hope in hell of playing in the Premier League.
Last time out they lost 2-1 at home to Saafend and this is the line up:
1. Jordan Archer (gk)
2. Dave Winfield
3. Charles Dunne
4. Michael Harriman ( on loan from QPR )
5. Anthony Stewart
6. Stewart Lewis
7. Matt Spring
8. Sam Wood
9. Joel Grant
10. Dean Morgan
11. McClure
SUBS: Lee Harrison (gk) UNUSED, Marvin McCoy UNUSED, Kortney Hause UNUSED, Gareth Ainsworth UNUSED, Bruno Andrade ( on for Grant on 89 mins ), Dennis Oli UNUSED, Jo Kuffour ( on for Morgan on 77 mins ).
There will probably be a sub 2000 attendance at Plainmoor for this one given it is a night game, Wycombe won't bring too many although i hope the ones that do come at least have a go at creating an atmosphere. My last game at Plainmoor was the Northampton one and they could have put mannequins in the away end and they would have made more noise. They didn't even move. I know it is bloody freezing but i urge you all to make the effort and go. Get behind the lads in this because they need our support and this game is winnable and critical in our season. If we can somehow get 3 points from this then we will have all played our part and i am confident we will do so. So for all you floaters that may be reading and those that haven't been much because we've been sh*t this season, treat this game as a one off, treat this game as the beginning of something that we are all in together and you can be part of it. Treat this game as one which we can win and let's all file into Plainmoor on tuesday night in expectation now rather than desperate hope. Desperate hope didn't get anyone anywhere and i certainly don't want the players feeling that in this one. I want the players to get out there despite what has gone on before with the expectation that they will get the 3 points from this.
My situation regarding attending this game is that i am currently 90% sure of being there. I have had my ticket for the bench booked for weeks and my hotel was booked 2 months ago. My partner has a couple of days off to look after the young 'un and so it should be all systems go. Well, i've been looking after my toddler for the past 2 weeks who has had a virus and tonsillitis and i too got them both but recovered a few days ago. If you've got kids then you'll know that they fetch into the house all diseases and illnesses known to man and if you have a crappy immune system like mine then the two together don't make a happy team. Today i am starting to feel a bit sh*tty again and so i am so hoping that my luck holds and i'm just run down and i'll be fine to make the near 550 mile round trip for this one. I'll be REALLY screwed off if i can't make this after all the planning and i can't get the cash back for my hotel and ticket either but if i look on the positive side, there are people out there battling serious illness and conditions and my whining is trivial when it comes to what they face each day so i have that to be thankful for.
I need to be in fine fettle for this one AND for Accrington on saturday because even if you don't feel ill before you go to Accrington you almost certainly will when you get there! If i'm not 100% at Accrington it could be the longest day of my entire life.
I've just got to go for a 3-1 win to us in this. If we get at them we can score and we are well overdue some good fortune and a scintillating performance. I reckon they will score and to win we need to score first but let's just play with intensity and belief and eventually we'll break the door down so to speak.
At the very least there are some fans who escape my company, Bengull on the pop, i'm going in the bench so you avoid my company for 90 minutes mate
although i need the merchandise outside before you go in. Shhhhhhhhhhhh, and also Dave forever who can't make it for this. It is the first home game he has missed for six years and i was going to meet him again in B&L for a pre-match drink and banter. His lad has got a trial so he can't make it, yeah, tell me owt Dave! Anyway, their forum is http://www.gasroom.co.uk and it's basically an unordered bloody mess! Not sure if there is another one though.
Finally just a parental advisory warning. We play Accrington next week and the TOWN OF THE DAY and other references to the place may be considered over the top. For this i apologise in advance, i'm not going mental just tell the truth and if i offend anyone i'm sorry. Much of it will be meant in banter but i really DO despise the town, the area and the ground and i can't apologise for that. If you haven't been then it may be difficult to comprehend how somewhere could be that bad but my advice would be to go and then review your opinions in light of your visit. It should be condemned.
COME ON YOU YELLOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE NEED THIS!!!
GIVE US WHAT WE DESERVE! WE'VE FORKED OUT SH*TLOADS OF MONEY TO WATCH YOU THIS SEASON AND YOU HAVEN'T BEEN FAIR TO US. SHOW US THAT YOU APPRECIATE US BY BRUSHING WYCOMBE ASIDE AND PLAYING LIKE WE KNOW YOU CAN. JUST SCORE LOTS OF GOALS AND DON'T LET ANY IN, SIMPLES!!!
