ITV-Take me out

[EmetEdadsBeard]

TAKE ME OUT. FFS SOMEBODY KILL ME. YET ANOTHER SATURDAY NIGHT TV PROG THAT IS TOTALLY BULLSH1T, ZERO BUDGET WITH A LOAD OF THICKO BIMBOS IN A BLIND DATE RIPOFF OF EPIC PROPORTIONS.
I DESPARE :evil:

[Trojan 67]

TAKE ME OUT. FFS SOMEBODY KILL ME. YET ANOTHER SATURDAY NIGHT TV PROG THAT IS TOTALLY BULLSH1T, ZERO BUDGET WITH A LOAD OF THICKO BIMBOS IN A BLIND DATE RIPOFF OF EPIC PROPORTIONS.
I DESPARE :evil:

Ah yes, the original Blind Date.

That brings back some good memories. In the summer of 95 I got through to an audition in London for Blind Date with two young friends from Torquay after the three of us sailed through the initial interview process at Torquay s Grand Hotel.

We waltzed through the doors of London Weekend Television Studios a couple of weeks later. The girl at reception said, “You are here for?”

“Blind Date auditions. What does it look like we re here for?”

“To rob the place?”

“We re from Torquay sweetheart, not Liverpool.”


Everyone at that particular audition in London was a young pretty boy except me. I looked like what I am : a bronzed, rugged featured b*stard that looked out of place. I thought maybe they want me for the old farts show. Yeah, maybe I ll end up with an old minger instead of a young one.

Part of the audition process on that particular day was to act out a scenario. Mine was to portray 007(retired) collecting his pension from a Post Office counter. I thought to myself are they taking the p*ss ? Right then two can play this game. My act went as follows :

“The namesh Bond, Jamesh Bond, not Premium. The original Bond from Shcotland. You may remember me from my younger acting daysh went I portrayed a trucker in Hell Driversh shtarring Shtanley Baker and Patrick McGoohan as Big Red. I then went on to portray Daniel Dravitt in The Man Who Would Be King along shide Michael Caine who portrayed Peachy Carnahan.”

Mates Tom and George could hardly contain their laughter. All others in the room just stared on in open mouth disbelief. It went on and on until someone pleaded for it to stop. Sadly, luckily or deservedly, I didn t get past the audition so never got to meet lorra lorra fun Blind Date God Cilla. Oh, and being merrily p*ssed up at the time didn t help my cause. DAMN BUFFET CARS ON BRITISH RAIL !

I never told a soul about my adventure in the big city, but when word hit the street of where I d been and what for, a chorus of that particular theme tune greeted me wherever I went. You know the one, it went like this :

DAH da !
DAH da !
DAH da, da da ad dah … :Oops:

Although I m a kidder kiddo showman of Biblical proportions, all the above is true and still have the audition letter, train ticket, photographs of the day and eye witness testimony from mates Tom and George to prove it.

Thank you all for reading my story.