Boycott

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Mattpuma
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Post by Mattpuma »

Disagreeing with someone is not bullying.

Calling people "thickos" and "ignorant" because they call you on something followed by a veiled threat to publish users comments in a book is, I would posit, closer to bullying. Looks like you are guilty of the hypocrisy you rail against.
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merse btpir
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Post by merse btpir »

Six home games without scoring is sufficient reason not to want to unquestionably go to Plainmoor these days and it does take a level of loyalty to continue to turn up week in, week out.

Having said that; there is evidence n the highlights package of Saturday's game to suggest there is a collective will to play expansive, attacking football; that a seasoned striker (McQuoid) can do everything right in a one on one with the keeper and them fluff his lines at the pulling of the trigger. That the match was possibly lost because a defensive wall was not correctly set up ~ it might have been that close between winning and losing.

This ~ I am afraid ~ is football; sometimes it's highly entertaining and sometimes it's so frustrating it causes pain and misery.

I'll be off out tonight in the freezing cold in the hope of seeing my son get some pitch time not knowing until I get there whether or not he will start, be on the bench (or maybe not even that) and even if he is; whether he will get any action at all......as I said, this is football.

Tomorrow I will be at Potters Bar watching a club who have fallen a lot lower than Torquay United ever have ~ Hereford ~ and lower than I would ever wish them to; but again; this is football. No guarantees, no certainties and you can bet your bottom dollar that when you stay away you will miss something!
Last edited by merse btpir on 13 Nov 2017, 14:27, edited 3 times in total.
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Post by Yorkieandy »

Mattpuma wrote: 13 Nov 2017, 13:14 Disagreeing with someone is not bullying.

Calling people "thickos" and "ignorant" because they call you on something followed by a veiled threat to publish users comments in a book is, I would posit, closer to bullying. Looks like you are guilty of the hypocrisy you rail against.
It's a fair point Matt. It's perfectly understandable however to build up a defence mechanism due to constantly being misunderstood and misinterpreted over time although that doesn't excuse the terminology used. You see i am always able to accept when i'm wrong, have overstepped the mark and apologize yet others don't seem to want to accept responsibility for their actions and comments and instead prefer to encourage others to either 'grow a pair' or 'take it like a man' which is really embarrassing as we're nearly approaching 2018 and to think these attitudes still exist.

My 'veiled threats' weren't veiled although you presume incorrectly. I am not intending to publish any comments by anyone on here in a book. They aren't worth the space and i wouldn't give anyone on here the time of day by and large save a few. What i DO have however is a unique story to impart relating to my footballing travails with autism over the last 25 years and in the section and my experiences with Torquay United Football Club and it's supporters and also social media in football will make for very interesting, eye opening and entertaining reading i'm sure. I'm not too sure where you get the impression that including factual events that actually happened in real life in a book is bullying. Fair enough if i'm accusing individuals of doing or being something hypothetical and based on opinion and speculation then i'd agree but i'm not.

Either way i have to be very careful when publishing anything due to a wide range of legal implications but rest assured. If you've always been alright with me and tolerated and made reasonable adjustments for my eccentricities and idiosyncracies then you really have nothing to be concerned about.

People like Supernickywroe Chris, Big Dave SG, Scotty lad, Tomogull, Bixie, Taxilady, Bengull, Forevertufc Dave, Lucy6lucy and a few others including Ferrari lover Matt who wasn't everyone's cup of tea but again, i know what that feels like and he's always been ok with me so i've no issue. All these people have failed to understand a lot of where i'm coming from with my ideas and views yet they've not judged me nor been nauseatingly irritating and rigidly dismissive of me like most. This is worth celebrating and many will be mentioned on a special acknowledgments page in the book along with a few other people i've befriended over the years from clubs like Hull City, York City, Barnsley FC and Derby County and who have been understanding and accepting of me and who have enhanced my enjoyment of going to watch the football with the various clubs.

I'd also argue that calling someone 'ignorant' isn't bullying. Calling them 'thicko's' is however and i accept that. Most others just refuse to accept they are bullies and that they have posted something insensitive instead of acknowledging that they've posted in haste before thinking things through.

I think we just have to accept that we don't get on and we will never get on. The most disabling aspect of having high end autism is that this is the case with pretty much most of the people i encounter in life due to 'profound differences in thinking' from the neurotypical general population which highlights just how remarkable the people i've mentioned above are.

I'm a fair bloke deep down and have always been so. Just takes somebody who doesn't judge to see. In that respect i'm as blind as they come. Maybe you should nip down to specsavers too? I can admit it and it's not something to be proud of but can anybody else admit it including yourself?
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Post by Arrywithnobrain »

merse btpir wrote: 12 Nov 2017, 22:04 It's because you can't take a robust response; don't be 'ridden roughshod over' stand up for yourself and justify yourself.

You opened the thread and titled it 'Boycott' did you not ~ what did you expect?
Slight touch of pots and kettles there Merse: a bit rich coming from the pontificator in chief!
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Post by Mattpuma »

Yorkieandy wrote: 13 Nov 2017, 14:26 It's a fair point Matt. It's perfectly understandable however to build up a defence mechanism due to constantly being misunderstood and misinterpreted over time although that doesn't excuse the terminology used. You see i am always able to accept when i'm wrong, have overstepped the mark and apologize yet others don't seem to want to accept responsibility for their actions and comments and instead prefer to encourage others to either 'grow a pair' or 'take it like a man' which is really embarrassing as we're nearly approaching 2018 and to think these attitudes still exist.

My 'veiled threats' weren't veiled although you presume incorrectly. I am not intending to publish any comments by anyone on here in a book. They aren't worth the space and i wouldn't give anyone on here the time of day by and large save a few. What i DO have however is a unique story to impart relating to my footballing travails with autism over the last 25 years and in the section and my experiences with Torquay United Football Club and it's supporters and also social media in football will make for very interesting, eye opening and entertaining reading i'm sure. I'm not too sure where you get the impression that including factual events that actually happened in real life in a book is bullying. Fair enough if i'm accusing individuals of doing or being something hypothetical and based on opinion and speculation then i'd agree but i'm not.

Either way i have to be very careful when publishing anything due to a wide range of legal implications but rest assured. If you've always been alright with me and tolerated and made reasonable adjustments for my eccentricities and idiosyncracies then you really have nothing to be concerned about.

People like Supernickywroe Chris, Big Dave SG, Scotty lad, Tomogull, Bixie, Taxilady, Bengull, Forevertufc Dave, Lucy6lucy and a few others including Ferrari lover Matt who wasn't everyone's cup of tea but again, i know what that feels like and he's always been ok with me so i've no issue. All these people have failed to understand a lot of where i'm coming from with my ideas and views yet they've not judged me nor been nauseatingly irritating and rigidly dismissive of me like most. This is worth celebrating and many will be mentioned on a special acknowledgments page in the book along with a few other people i've befriended over the years from clubs like Hull City, York City, Barnsley FC and Derby County and who have been understanding and accepting of me and who have enhanced my enjoyment of going to watch the football with the various clubs.

I'd also argue that calling someone 'ignorant' isn't bullying. Calling them 'thicko's' is however and i accept that. Most others just refuse to accept they are bullies and that they have posted something insensitive instead of acknowledging that they've posted in haste before thinking things through.

I think we just have to accept that we don't get on and we will never get on. The most disabling aspect of having high end autism is that this is the case with pretty much most of the people i encounter in life due to 'profound differences in thinking' from the neurotypical general population which highlights just how remarkable the people i've mentioned above are.

I'm a fair bloke deep down and have always been so. Just takes somebody who doesn't judge to see. In that respect i'm as blind as they come. Maybe you should nip down to specsavers too? I can admit it and it's not something to be proud of but can anybody else admit it including yourself?
Fair enough. Thanks for your thoughtful reply.
Please remember that just because someone disagrees with you it doesnt mean they are anti you per se. I used to enjoy your first class match previews.
From my personal view I am a passionate supporter of TUFC and will snap back sometimes
This doesnt mean I dislike you. I argue with my brother regularly but I still think he is a great brother.
These kind of internet discussions engender comments and misunderstandings that would not happen in a face to face situation.
Lets put this to bed now. Have a good day.

P.s. I cant guarantee I wont disagree with you in the future though. I may even agree with you sometimes 😮
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Post by Yorkieandy »

Thanks Matt. I appreciate your reply. I also was a fervent supporter of TUFC and given football is my 'narrow interest' as the autism experts prefer to call our obsessions, believe me it hurt like buggery when i was put in a position when i had to decide whether to carry on supporting or cut ties. To most it may seem like much ado about nothing but when you have an intense desire to see your football club being run appropriately (not necessarily successfully) and with due consideration for fans and this intensity cannot be satisfied then the easiest thing i could do to be able to put myself back in control of my situation was to stop my support.

I cannot control who runs the football club and how they operate, their motives, how they treat supporters and if truth be truth i desperately want that control or at least to be able to have partial control as it's easier for me to deal with and satisfies my inherent need for people to be accountable for their actions. This is why i want the phoenix club. I cannot ever envisage a time in the future where TUFC will be taken over by somebody who genuinely wants to do right by the club and fans as well as obviously trying to get something back for themselves which is fair enough therefore when you think as rigidly as this, as i do then the club then ceases to exist in my mind. If i believe it cannot ever be as it was ever again then it might as well not exist at all is my logic although i appreciate the logic is probably lost on most people. I have convinced myself that no matter which players come in, which managers come in and which owners come in that the end result will be the same. Failure and being ignored and mugged off further by another set of owners who don't give two shits about the football club, it's heritage or it's fans.

With this in mind i would ask fans if they can appreciate where i'm coming from regarding my perspective no matter how loony it sounds. If they can then furthermore can they get their head around this also? I am and always have been a fan who goes to games regardless. If we lined up with 11 walruses each week and were smashed 6, 7, 8, 10 nil and ended up getting relegated 12 times then i'd be p*ssed off but already making my plans for the next game because i'm obsessed. Perhaps i am guilty of not being able to understand people because in my eyes if you then stop going because of the factors i've listed and then plan to return at some point in the future then how is it possible to continue to support the football club with any integrity?

I've always said that if you want to suddenly stop going then that's absolutely fine. Whether the footy is crap, you're getting fed up with it all or the club and owners are mugging you off it matters not. If you feel strongly about any of these things then fine. The key point i want to make is that you absolutely cannot return as a fan at any point in the future because the reason being you've given up.

I despise Mr Osborne and even before that the board under all the others that 'enjoyed' the generosity of Thea i despised so i gave up. I didn't want to be laughed at and treated with contempt as a Torquay fan by these men so i gave up. By my logic that's it. I agree that once you give up you've given up and are not a fan anymore which most on here levelled at me and i agree BUT i don't choose to come back. My integrity dictates that i cannot come back even if i desperately wanted to because it wouldn't be morally acceptable for me and that's where i have the inner conflict.

I think i'm doing the honourable act in respecting the club and fans by not being fickle and am constantly berated by other fans for it which by my logic upsets me as i cannot understand this. I've made a decision which has to be stuck to even if we get taken over by Russian billionaires, sign Messi and reach the Premier League summit i cannot go back because that would contravene my self imposed morality regarding such a situation. Does anyone not think i'm desperate to come back? It is the fans who stop going and then decide to return when it's all looking a bit more rosier who should be getting the grief not me because for them it's purely about seeing the team win and play well. For me it is about and has only ever been about how i am treated as a supporter, as a human being, as a vital cog in the wheel of the TUFC wheel of survival.

I have been unable to change or influence the way in which successive owners run the football club in respect of them ignoring the fans and have become hopeless that this trend of ignorance cannot now be rectified. That leaves me frustrated, angry and bitter which are not beneficial emotions and in somebody with autism they are too intense to filter therefore i have no option but to withdraw and make a decision to be able to cope with these feelings. On top of that there are frequent comments from forum users who cannot understand this and who choose to make continually unhelpful and ignorant remarks about my 'support' when the truth is they have absolutely no idea.

I don't fuss anymore about what others think of me but it's important for me to be able to convey how my differences in thinking affect my decision making ability and on the face of it, stopping supporting a team that one has actively and vocally supported across the country for the last 10 years comes across as really extreme. I accept that but if that's the way in which my thought processes work and combined with the intensity of the belief that this is the morally correct thing to do then although i admit it's extreme and extraordinary, it's what i have chosen as the right thing to do to best manage a situation needlessly brought about by the greedy and selfish men who have been running this football club for the last 6 or 7 years (except blokes like Breedy et al who stepped in and kept the club ticking over when it was needed and who i know desperately love the football club with a passion - as i did).

One last thing. Passion is not something i can relate to and which is another aspect to what influenced my decision. I have autism and most things i undertake are through routine and a strong sense of duty. Passion doesn't really exist. Unless i was married to Liz Hurley. For most people, supporting a football club is primarily about seeing their team win, being entertained and experiencing the rare events, the intense highs such as the win at the green slime back in the league, the wembley play off win, the game that Bodin had where he was actually pretty good. :lol: (Crewe away - i was there :scarf: ).

For me, supporting a football club is about routine. The anticipation of a matchday, the pre-planned schedule, the processing of an unbelievable amount of sensory information such as sights, sounds, smells. All three overloaded to some degree when you've stood next to Supernickywroe on the terraces i can tell you! :Z

I plan the matchday. I go and execute the plan. I support the team as best i can and then i come home, process it all and begin planning for the next game. I have to admit to not generally feeling that intense excitement when we scored or when we won. My fulfilment was just by being there and by that knowing that i had contributed to any success or even helped lift the players when they were sh*te or just unlucky. It's vitally important for me to feel proud, part of something and valued more so than any footballing success. I don't really have the same passion or feel it in the same way as you lot so it feels kind of contradictory that i'm about to say this considering i stopped supporting the club but those men who ran this club into the gutter have destroyed and taken away the last things any autistic individual DOES feel passionate about. Routine and loyalty.

I had gradually got into a routine which i was happy with and gradually began making some really great and interesting acquaintances at matches and over time i thought that was me sorted. Torquay fan, getting involved and i was reasonably comfortable with everything which again, is important for maintaining a high level of functioning for someone such as myself.

I know nobody will probably not even know how to be able to make sense of the above, just pass it off as the usual crap from the usual suspect i expect would be many people's thoughts along with the tedious but simplistically effective tl:dr, but if just one person tries and can maybe see some sense of logic in that then i've achieved something.

Fair play Matt anyway and line drawn.
Last edited by Yorkieandy on 13 Nov 2017, 16:53, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Mattpuma »

At least if we had the walruses we wouldnt be toothless in attack......
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Post by Yorkieandy »

Mattpuma wrote: 13 Nov 2017, 16:29 At least if we had the walruses we wouldnt be toothless in attack......
Get through a hell of a lot of balls though i'm sure. Especially when going up for headers.

Should be renamed Tuskey United. :lol:
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Post by westyorkshiregull »

merse btpir wrote: 13 Nov 2017, 14:24 Six home games without scoring is sufficient reason not to want to unquestionably go to Plainmoor these days and it does take a level of loyalty to continue to turn up week in, week out.

Having said that; there is evidence n the highlights package of Saturday's game to suggest there is a collective will to play expansive, attacking football; that a seasoned striker (McQuoid) can do everything right in a one on one with the keeper and them fluff his lines at the pulling of the trigger. That the match was possibly lost because a defensive wall was not correctly set up ~ it might have been that close between winning and losing.

This ~ I am afraid ~ is football; sometimes it's highly entertaining and sometimes it's so frustrating it causes pain and misery.

I'll be off out tonight in the freezing cold in the hope of seeing my son get some pitch time not knowing until I get there whether or not he will start, be on the bench (or maybe not even that) and even if he is; whether he will get any action at all......as I said, this is football.

Tomorrow I will be at Potters Bar watching a club who have fallen a lot lower than Torquay United ever have ~ Hereford ~ and lower than I would ever wish them to; but again; this is football. No guarantees, no certainties and you can bet your bottom dollar that when you stay away you will miss something!

That's the beauty of football merse. Can't beat freezing your arse off in the hope that you might be treated to a tough and exciting game. Quite possibly end up feeling like why do you bother. But get back in car and listen to bit of 5live , get home hot mug of hot chocolate and that burning desire comes back to like you should do it all over again next week or whenever next oppontunity is. I used to love football under the lights and still do when I can. I went not so long ago to ossett albion playing Lancaster in the northern premier sub division. Nothing like it.
Football is a beautiful sport and watching it at a lower level is something quite special.
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Post by lucy6lucy »

Yorkieandy wrote: 13 Nov 2017, 14:26 It's a fair point Matt. It's perfectly understandable however to build up a defence mechanism due to constantly being misunderstood and misinterpreted over time although that doesn't excuse the terminology used. You see i am always able to accept when i'm wrong, have overstepped the mark and apologize yet others don't seem to want to accept responsibility for their actions and comments and instead prefer to encourage others to either 'grow a pair' or 'take it like a man' which is really embarrassing as we're nearly approaching 2018 and to think these attitudes still exist.

My 'veiled threats' weren't veiled although you presume incorrectly. I am not intending to publish any comments by anyone on here in a book. They aren't worth the space and i wouldn't give anyone on here the time of day by and large save a few. What i DO have however is a unique story to impart relating to my footballing travails with autism over the last 25 years and in the section and my experiences with Torquay United Football Club and it's supporters and also social media in football will make for very interesting, eye opening and entertaining reading i'm sure. I'm not too sure where you get the impression that including factual events that actually happened in real life in a book is bullying. Fair enough if i'm accusing individuals of doing or being something hypothetical and based on opinion and speculation then i'd agree but i'm not.

Either way i have to be very careful when publishing anything due to a wide range of legal implications but rest assured. If you've always been alright with me and tolerated and made reasonable adjustments for my eccentricities and idiosyncracies then you really have nothing to be concerned about.

People like Supernickywroe Chris, Big Dave SG, Scotty lad, Tomogull, Bixie, Taxilady, Bengull, Forevertufc Dave, Lucy6lucy and a few others including Ferrari lover Matt who wasn't everyone's cup of tea but again, i know what that feels like and he's always been ok with me so i've no issue. All these people have failed to understand a lot of where i'm coming from with my ideas and views yet they've not judged me nor been nauseatingly irritating and rigidly dismissive of me like most. This is worth celebrating and many will be mentioned on a special acknowledgments page in the book along with a few other people i've befriended over the years from clubs like Hull City, York City, Barnsley FC and Derby County and who have been understanding and accepting of me and who have enhanced my enjoyment of going to watch the football with the various clubs.

I'd also argue that calling someone 'ignorant' isn't bullying. Calling them 'thicko's' is however and i accept that. Most others just refuse to accept they are bullies and that they have posted something insensitive instead of acknowledging that they've posted in haste before thinking things through.

I think we just have to accept that we don't get on and we will never get on. The most disabling aspect of having high end autism is that this is the case with pretty much most of the people i encounter in life due to 'profound differences in thinking' from the neurotypical general population which highlights just how remarkable the people i've mentioned above are.

I'm a fair bloke deep down and have always been so. Just takes somebody who doesn't judge to see. In that respect i'm as blind as they come. Maybe you should nip down to specsavers too? I can admit it and it's not something to be proud of but can anybody else admit it including yourself?
A brave personal post to make Andy so hats down for your honesty. Shame you gave up the match threads though, they where great, I still remember your failed drum , correct me if I'm wrong at Accrington?
Lucy
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Post by kevgull »

I’m starting to think that Kevin Nicholson would have gotten more out of this squad than our current management team.

That’s how bad I feel about handing over my hard earned cash at the moment!
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Post by lucy6lucy »

kevgull wrote: 13 Nov 2017, 18:46 I’m starting to think that Kevin Nicholson would have gotten more out of this squad than our current management team.

That’s how bad I feel about handing over my hard earned cash at the moment!
I have to disagree, though KN was only given 4 games with his team. Owers has installed a team ethic and energy that has been delivering encouraging performances. We just need someone that can covert the changes we create. GI should have shook hands with KN after the north ferriby match and used the summer to re-build.
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Post by nickbrod »

Waste of time referring to any previous manager at any football club. Like the majority ours was sacked and replaced. My opinion for what it's worth is that our current management team are the best we've had for some years. There has been definite progress in their first two months.
Both Hartlepool and Tranmere got off to terrible starts and arguably both clubs could have ditched their managers but both teams are steadily improving.
Give Owers and Kuhl plenty of backing and things will improve.
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Post by kevgull »

lucy6lucy wrote: 13 Nov 2017, 19:23 I have to disagree, though KN was only given 4 games with his team. Owers has installed a team ethic and energy that has been delivering encouraging performances. We just need someone that can covert the changes we create. GI should have shook hands with KN after the north ferriby match and used the summer to re-build.
I agree with the North Ferriby comment Lucy however our league position and lack of ambition to bring in a decent striker is very concerning.
Life is like TUFC. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. :goal:
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Post by lucy6lucy »

kevgull wrote: 13 Nov 2017, 20:45 I agree with the North Ferriby comment Lucy however our league position and lack of ambition to bring in a decent striker is very concerning.
I agree also. All we can do is hope sign a quality forward and support the team.
Lucy
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