I went to Exeter v Oxford today...

[ferrarilover]

Oh Em Effing Gee!

I recall, very clearly, the worst football match I've ever witnessed. Hold your applause, because it was just less than a year ago. I'd seen some pretty dreadful football over the years. Cambridge v Oxford in about 2009 in the Conference springs to mind. A few Torquay games. Some other dreadful stuff on TV. Most England matches since Lineker threw in the towel. However, the very worst match I've ever seen was the Dorchester v someone (can't remember who, Gatwick FC or the Met Police or someone) in the Conference South last year. That game was actually worse than the Devon Bowl match between our U18 third string v someone a couple of years ago. Match played on what was effectively a ploughed field (there were holes in the mud which were a foot deep). A 0-0 draw settled on pens. This Dorchester game almost beggared belief. It was staggeringly poor. There was simply no quality to speak of in any respect.
Today's match between Exeter and Oxford was a VERY close second to that match.

What I witnessed today left me utterly speechless.

That the match finished 1-1 was really not a fair reflection at all. It should have finished A-A referee stopped play. Quite how two allegedly professional sides manage to play for an hour and a half without creating a single piece of attractive or incisive football is beyond me. Neither side were on even vaguely familiar terms with controlled football. The build up to Exeter's goal, a penalty, summed up the abject lack of quality evident here.
One long, straight ball was enough to defeat an ironing board flat and completely static Oxford back line. The visiting keeper came, then stopped, then came again. In so doing, he presented the Exeter striker with the simplest and most inviting of opportunities to lob the ball over his head and into an unguarded net. Instead, the forward decided the hump the ball out for a goal kick then fall over the advancing goalie for the most blatant of pens. To give some context, the chance was much simpler than the one which Ajala took against Welling

Oxford's goal was the only instant of anything even in the same postcode as League standard football. Ball down the right, the only accurate cross of the afternoon and a simple but effective finish.

I wish some of you had been there, to confirm my view of just how abysmal they both were. I love football. It takes up a massive chunk of my life, but I was bored to tears by the match. Someone said in a recent thread that, if we played Exeter in our next match, we'd beat them 5-0. That's not true. Honestly, we could play both Exeter AND Oxford at the same time and still win 7-0. That we are a division below both is an absolute farce.
If Tyrone Barnett is worth £1.2m, Ryan Bowman is worth more than Chelsea paid for Torres. Any player who can't get into either of these sides might as well spend their Monday at the job centre, because football isn't for them.
I Tweeted at half time that TULFC would beat either of the teams on show. I wasn't joking.

Imagine then, my surprise, when I logged onto Exeweb and found the following comment:

"Today was our best performance in a long time..."

I was in John Lewis when I read it and I was initially stunned beyond words, then found myself laughing uncontrollably. A member of staff actually enquired as to my well being.

Exeter and Oxford really are two terrible sides. We'd have beaten both last year, let alone this. I genuinely cannot conceive of how bad Carlisle must be to be below them both in the table.

Matt.

[lucy6lucy]

Oh Em Effing Gee!

I recall, very clearly, the worst football match I've ever witnessed. Hold your applause, because it was just less than a year ago. I'd seen some pretty dreadful football over the years. Cambridge v Oxford in about 2009 in the Conference springs to mind. A few Torquay games. Some other dreadful stuff on TV. Most England matches since Lineker threw in the towel. However, the very worst match I've ever seen was the Dorchester v someone (can't remember who, Gatwick FC or the Met Police or someone) in the Conference South last year. That game was actually worse than the Devon Bowl match between our U18 third string v someone a couple of years ago. Match played on what was effectively a ploughed field (there were holes in the mud which were a foot deep). A 0-0 draw settled on pens. This Dorchester game almost beggared belief. It was staggeringly poor. There was simply no quality to speak of in any respect.
Today's match between Exeter and Oxford was a VERY close second to that match.

What I witnessed today left me utterly speechless.

That the match finished 1-1 was really not a fair reflection at all. It should have finished A-A referee stopped play. Quite how two allegedly professional sides manage to play for an hour and a half without creating a single piece of attractive or incisive football is beyond me. Neither side were on even vaguely familiar terms with controlled football. The build up to Exeter's goal, a penalty, summed up the abject lack of quality evident here.
One long, straight ball was enough to defeat an ironing board flat and completely static Oxford back line. The visiting keeper came, then stopped, then came again. In so doing, he presented the Exeter striker with the simplest and most inviting of opportunities to lob the ball over his head and into an unguarded net. Instead, the forward decided the hump the ball out for a goal kick then fall over the advancing goalie for the most blatant of pens. To give some context, the chance was much simpler than the one which Ajala took against Welling

Oxford's goal was the only instant of anything even in the same postcode as League standard football. Ball down the right, the only accurate cross of the afternoon and a simple but effective finish.

I wish some of you had been there, to confirm my view of just how abysmal they both were. I love football. It takes up a massive chunk of my life, but I was bored to tears by the match. Someone said in a recent thread that, if we played Exeter in our next match, we'd beat them 5-0. That's not true. Honestly, we could play both Exeter AND Oxford at the same time and still win 7-0. That we are a division below both is an absolute farce.
If Tyrone Barnett is worth £1.2m, Ryan Bowman is worth more than Chelsea paid for Torres. Any player who can't get into either of these sides might as well spend their Monday at the job centre, because football isn't for them.
I Tweeted at half time that TULFC would beat either of the teams on show. I wasn't joking.

Imagine then, my surprise, when I logged onto Exeweb and found the following comment:

"Today was our best performance in a long time..."

I was in John Lewis when I read it and I was initially stunned beyond words, then found myself laughing uncontrollably. A member of staff actually enquired as to my well being.

Exeter and Oxford really are two terrible sides. We'd have beaten both last year, let alone this. I genuinely cannot conceive of how bad Carlisle must be to be below them both in the table.

Matt.

Should have gone on supporters bus to Grimsby for another tender, matey

[ferrarilover]

I drive a large and very comfortable Jaguar with a big v8, I have absolutely no requirement of coaches.

Thanks though.

Matt.

[Colorado Gull]

A very satisfying read Matt, cheers .

[Glostergull]

I drive a large and very comfortable Jaguar with a big v8, I have absolutely no requirement of coaches.

Thanks though.

Matt.

Your kidding me. You really telling me that my car impressed you so much you went out and got one yourself. tell me what have you got now.

[cambgull]

To be fair, Matt. The bus probably gets better mpg...

... just saying.

[ferrarilover]

Haha, you're not wrong.

Glos, I'm secretly stealing your identity, hence the car. Next up is for me to develop an inordinately large collection of utterly abysmal jokes. Then the world shall be mine!

Matt.

[Glostergull]

well do tell . what exaclty have you got then. colour type age. has it got a jacuzzi or 4 poster bed. Shower or fully stocked food cabinet.

[Glostergull]

R.E. The title. Wel All I have to say. is PILLOCK!!