Thought For the Day

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Post by Gullscorer »

Society has become utterly desensitized to the idea of male suffering. This is evidenced by the obvious fact that the overwhelming majority of homeless people are men. The majority of suicide victims are men. The majority of victims of war are men. The majority of assault and homicide victims are men. The majority of workplace deaths are also men. In almost every category, where people are hurt, abused, or victimized, it is men—not women—who suffer most.

As a society, we place immense expectations on men’s shoulders. They are the protectors, the breadwinners, the builders, the fixers. They keep the lights on, keep the water running and are encouraged, at almost every point to never complain, to never ask for help or to never admit that they might have a problem. Men are told to “suck it up”, to “man up”, when they fail to meet the expectations demanded of them.

Little wonder then, that there are no services for men in need. We’ve shamed men into fearing to come forward to tell their stories. We’ve shamed men into thinking that the abuses they suffer and the needs that they have must always come second.

It’s time for that to stop.

Society will not stop functioning because we allow ourselves to recognize men’s needs. Society won’t collapse under its own weight because rather than telling men to “get over it” we take some time to pause, and to listen. If anything, our society will be all the better for it; we’ll move one step closer to a society that’s truly inclusive and accepting.

http://www.salon.com/2015/05/26/male_su ... _help_too/
https://www.change.org/p/mayor-of-londo ... xual-abuse
PhilGull
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Post by PhilGull »

Gullscorer wrote:Society has become utterly desensitized to the idea of male suffering. This is evidenced by the obvious fact that the overwhelming majority of homeless people are men. The majority of suicide victims are men. The majority of victims of war are men. The majority of assault and homicide victims are men. The majority of workplace deaths are also men. In almost every category, where people are hurt, abused, or victimized, it is men—not women—who suffer most.

As a society, we place immense expectations on men’s shoulders. They are the protectors, the breadwinners, the builders, the fixers. They keep the lights on, keep the water running and are encouraged, at almost every point to never complain, to never ask for help or to never admit that they might have a problem. Men are told to “suck it up”, to “man up”, when they fail to meet the expectations demanded of them.

Little wonder then, that there are no services for men in need. We’ve shamed men into fearing to come forward to tell their stories. We’ve shamed men into thinking that the abuses they suffer and the needs that they have must always come second.

It’s time for that to stop.

Society will not stop functioning because we allow ourselves to recognize men’s needs. Society won’t collapse under its own weight because rather than telling men to “get over it” we take some time to pause, and to listen. If anything, our society will be all the better for it; we’ll move one step closer to a society that’s truly inclusive and accepting.

http://www.salon.com/2015/05/26/male_su ... _help_too/
https://www.change.org/p/mayor-of-londo ... xual-abuse
Your second paragraph highlights the root of the problem - sexism. Until, and I have to say it, people like you see women as equals what you have described will not change.
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Post by Gullscorer »

There are issues, some of them listed above, adversely affecting men and boys, which society almost totally ignores. Yet according to you the problem is - sexism..?? As indicated in my second paragraph..??

Unbelievable..!!

As highlighted in the Salon article, Survivors UK, one of the very few organisations helping male survivors of sexual abuse, has had its funding cut to zero. You think this, too, is because of - sexism..??

Unbelievable..!!

And your offensive view, completely wide of the mark, of how I perceive women, simply illustrates your own bigotry..
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Post by PhilGull »

My point was that more men die in war than women because more men fight in war than women. The majority of workplace deaths are men because the majority of the more dangerous jobs are filled by men. In all the examples you give men suffer more than women because more men are involved than women.

With your second paragraph I was suggesting that if we had a more equal society, if women were looked at as protectors, breadwinners, builders and fixers, if women were allowed to keep the lights on and the water running you wouldn't see men suffering so disproportionately.

I agree with your premise, just not with the action you want taken. We need to stop trying to fix the worlds problems and start looking at the causes.
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Post by Gullscorer »

Sorry I didn't make it clear, but I was referring to the civilian victims of war: women may be raped and children kidnapped, and I do not minimise those horrors, but the majority of civilians tortured and killed, whether in Nigeria or Syria or Afghanistan or Iraq or wherever, are men.

But otherwise, you're stating the obvious, and the questions could be asked: why are more women not sent to fight in wars? Why are more women not doing dangerous jobs? Why are more women not working in mines or fishing at sea? For that matter, why are there more women than men in certain occupations? Similarly in higher education, where 60% of students are female. If the genders/sexes were reversed so that mostly women were adversely affected, then there would be a huge outcry. But you appear to be saying that because it's mostly men who suffer in these situations, then we can ignore them?

The world is as it is, and whether it's women or men who are involved, those jobs and situations remain just as dangerous for both. But because it's mostly men who are adversely affected, then society looks the other way, even pours scorn on men who cry out for help. And worse: Survivors UK has had its funding cut to zero.

Anyone with an ounce of humanity in them would sign the petition:
http://www.salon.com/2015/05/26/male_su ... _help_too/
https://www.change.org/p/mayor-of-londo ... xual-abuse
PhilGull
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Post by PhilGull »

Gullscorer wrote:Sorry I didn't make it clear, but I was referring to the civilian victims of war: women may be raped and children kidnapped, and I do not minimise those horrors, but the majority of civilians tortured and killed, whether in Nigeria or Syria or Afghanistan or Iraq or wherever, are men.

But otherwise, you're stating the obvious, and the questions could be asked: why are more women not sent to fight in wars? Why are more women not doing dangerous jobs? Why are more women not working in mines or fishing at sea? For that matter, why are there more women than men in certain occupations? Similarly in higher education, where 60% of students are female. If the genders/sexes were reversed so that mostly women were adversely affected, then there would be a huge outcry. But you appear to be saying that because it's mostly men who suffer in these situations, then we can ignore them?

The world is as it is, and whether it's women or men who are involved, those jobs and situations remain just as dangerous for both. But because it's mostly men who are adversely affected, then society looks the other way, even pours scorn on men who cry out for help. And worse: Survivors UK has had its funding cut to zero.

Anyone with an ounce of humanity in them would sign the petition:
http://www.salon.com/2015/05/26/male_su ... _help_too/
https://www.change.org/p/mayor-of-londo ... xual-abuse

Exactly my point. If women and men, rich and poor, black and white were treated equally these injustices wouldn't occur, everyone would suffer equally.
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Post by Gullscorer »

Except that nobody should be suffering at all. Nobody. As to equal treatment, let's abolish 'positive discrimination' and all-women short lists, and stay with equality of opportunity and advancement solely on merit. And let's make a start with circumcision: we hear a lot about female genital mutilation which is illegal but comparatively rare in the UK, but we hear nothing about male genital mutilation (circumcision), which is nothing less than barbaric child abuse and should also be outlawed:
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Post by Gullscorer »

Research has shown that a 60-year-old is five times less likely than a 20-year-old to experience back pain whilst lifting something.
This research was carried out by 20-year-old students.. :nod:

Worldwide, women earn $18 trillion and spend $28 trillion. Judging by our family finances, I always suspected as much...!! :~D :'(
https://hbr.org/2009/09/the-female-economy

Rachel Edwards on Tim Hunt: http://www.avoiceformen.com/feminism/ti ... minism-is/
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Post by Gullscorer »

To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer.

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Post by Gullscorer »

About 45% of marriages end in divorce. If you were told that 45% of the time parachutes do not open, would you go skydiving?
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