JPT - Swindon vs Torquay

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Northumbergull
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Post by Northumbergull »

Oh well, I'll just have to hope to see us at a north east side in the FA Cup.

Btw, my local team, Ashington, are in the 3rd qualifying round against Droylesdon this Saturday. :) I think they're the lowest ranked side left.

Cheers

Bruce
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Post by ferrarilover »

Just got back...

As was mentioned a page or two ago, we lost tonight because we don't have a goal scorer. Benyon should, not could, SHOULD have had us 1 up after 10 seconds, but rather than keep his composure and either lob the keeper (who was 16 yards off his line) or smash it past him, Benners decided to shin it back to their stopper. Weakly.
The next chance fell, on 5 mins, to Billy Kee, who created himself some room and hit a decent shot. Saved, I think.

From here on in, it was all Swindon. Their silly stewards made us all sit down and their silly fans called us names, then they scored a nice goal. Worked the ball down the right hand side of our box, a clever back-heel to the striker who slotted it past a despairing Potter from (maybe) 6 yards. Nothing we could do against a lovely bit of skill and a calm finish.

Remainder of the half was all the same, TUFC bypassing the midfield 99% of the time and being hopeless and trying to use Billy Kee (yes, 5'2", 18 stone Billy Kee) as an aerial target man. On the odd occasion we played proper football, we looked alright, but their D was never unduly troubled.

They scored on the stroke on half time and the contest was over. A super nice ball through the middle and Pericard with another neatly poked finish past a once again despairing DP.
Tough to see, but a couple of people said Mark (who does not look his imperious best without Pickles there) was out of position. To my eye, it was just a slide rule pass.

Second half was much of a nothingness. They tried a few shots, but nothing which Potter (our best goalkeeper? Those who have seen the reserve matches may be inclined to say so. Sod all wrong with Bevs, but Potter might just be a better keeper) couldn't deal with. We were never really going to score and even if we got one, we certainly weren't going to get two.

On the plus side, Potter looked good, not at fault for either goal and solid when called upon, better distribution than Bevs. Manse excellent again, he gets better with every match and SHOULD BE CAPTAIN!!! EoK tried hard again, but, as is the way with better opponents, every time he got a foot in, the ball broke to a red shirt. Billy Kee showed some decent touches when he got the ball to feet and not 2 or 3 yards over his head. Sadly, he became anonymous as the game wore on. Charnock looked good. Senda looked ok in midfield. LRT looked ok on the odd occasion he got the ball, a real fighter and quicker than you think. Bad bits: Elliot I'm afraid. He needs to stop playing the victim and looking for free kicks and just get the ball. It's odd, when he is favourite to win the ball, he often loses it trying to win a cheap free kick. When he is long odds to win a ball (as 3 or 4 times tonight) he battles and, usually, comes up with it. Odd. V V odd. Mark Ellis, good enough but if I'm being super harsh, I don't trust him on his own as much as I do when Pickles is there with him, but, in fairness, I feel the same when Pickles is without Mark.

So, we are out of the JPT. Much less worrying now I know there is no prize money involved (what kind of tin pot tournament is this?) Swindon still have some moron fans who fancy themselves far too much**. We need one of the big boys in the FA Cup 3rd round to generate some revenue to buy a top level striker (Le Fondre [yeah, yeah, I know] or JACK LESTER cough cough). I'm not one for buying your way out of trouble, but in this instance, it is precisely what s needed.

Two final points. Firstly, I cannot go without mentioning the referee who, in my opinion, was not bad, but actively cheating. If he had been bad, he would have given us some things which were not fouls (the Aldershot chap was s***e, but he was s***e for both sides, the dangerously high foot from our bloke, which was given as a dangerously low head by the shots guy, for instance.) This chap gave TUFC 1 (yes, ONE) free kick in the 90th minute, and that was it. Utter, utter tripe. Charnock makes a perfect sliding tackle, takes the ball so hard it goes into row F for a throw, the man goes down. The referee books Charnock for the "foul" then awards Swindon a throw, indicating that Charnock got the ball, explain that. 5 mins later, Kee (I think) in the box, back to the defender who kicks Billy over, ball doesn't move, penalty shouts waved away, MADNESS!!!

Secondly, ** I'd like to say that not all Swindon fans are apes, kudos to the three young lads Diamondgirl and I spoke to next to the chip van before the game. Three nicer kids you could not hope to meet. Polite, local lads, one of them plays for the under 12s, knew all about the players and had decent, well reasoned opinions and expectations. Good on you lads, bloody well done for avoiding all the knuckle draggers you doubtless go to school with.

Very last thing. I don't know if you read this Steve, but thanks again for your prematch favour, you're a gentleman and a scholar, Mr Breed.

Matt.
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Post by BernardB »

What a very nice, well judged, informative report if I may say so. Thank you.
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Post by ferrarilover »

Louis/Dave/computer guru types,

Can I please have the above post in my signature block?

BernardB,

Pray tell us more of yourself, you are evidently a smart chap with a good eye for well constructed prose. Further, you are clearly a footballing fellow, but what of the rest of 'you'? Are you yellow, or red and white? Will you be frequenting our little forum now you have stumbled across it (possibly in a drunken stupor?) Do you know who'll win the 3:15 at Kempton on Saturday?
Dammit man, we need to know, this information could be vital.

Matt.
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Louis
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Post by Louis »

Like that??
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Post by ferrarilover »

Cheers Louis, well happy with that. I only got the idea from barryboys.co.uk, they all have amusing posts in their blocks and I really liked the one I've chosen. I'm considering getting it tattooed (sp) in big pink letters on my arse.

Matt.
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Post by BernardB »

ferrarilover wrote:Louis/Dave/computer guru types,

Can I please have the above post in my signature block?

BernardB,

Pray tell us more of yourself, you are evidently a smart chap with a good eye for well constructed prose. Further, you are clearly a footballing fellow, but what of the rest of 'you'? Are you yellow, or red and white? Will you be frequenting our little forum now you have stumbled across it (possibly in a drunken stupor?) Do you know who'll win the 3:15 at Kempton on Saturday?
Dammit man, we need to know, this information could be vital.

Matt.
Matt, I'm a frequent lurker here and am continually amused by the mix of blind optimism and hopeless resignation. I tend mostly to fall into the latter category as I have been a follower of Torquay, where I was born and brought up, since before most (if not all) of you were born. I'm a fairly equable sort of chap except when the words "Exeter City" are uttered in my presence.
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Post by ferrarilover »

Bernard,

This is all well and good but...

Do you know who'll win the 3:15 at Kempton on Saturday?

Seriously though, good to know we have one more fan than I thought we did. Do you get to Plainmoor/away games much? I guess from what you'e said that your exiled and not a young man.
I'm glad you like my post and I'm sure you don't mind my using your reply in my signature strip.

Matt.
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Scott Brehaut
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Post by Scott Brehaut »

ferrarilover wrote: I'm considering getting it tattooed (sp) in big pink letters on my arse.

Matt.
What are you going to fill the rest of the area with?

;-)
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Post by BernardB »

I have no idea about racing but I do know why elephants don't need to drive Ferraris:

One day in the jungle a mouse fell into a deep animal trap and couldn't scramble out. His piteous cries were heard by a passing elephant, who stopped to see if he could help. The mouse explained the problem, which was pretty clear to see anyway, and the elephant had a think. "Ah", he said after a minute, "wait there. I've got an idea."

The elephant went off to find Mrs elephant and rubbed up against her until he achieved...er...a state of excitement.

He hurried back to the trap, extended his wotsit into it, and the mouse was able to climb up it to freedom.

And that's why elephants don't need to drive Ferraris.
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Post by BernardB »

Sorry, forgot to answer the other questions. I hardly ever get to matches as I live in Norfolk but I listen to them all - at least when the dratted Gulls World is working. By no stretch of the imagination could I be considered a young or even a middle-aged man but yes I am male. No problem about using my testimonial in your posts provided you keep the match reports coming!

PS: Very funny reply by Scott!
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