Search found 1037 matches

by EmetEdadsBeard
07 Mar 2020, 09:02
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 171296

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

My flat mate reckons our house is haunted , but I've lived here 300 years and never noticed anything..... :-/
by EmetEdadsBeard
17 Feb 2020, 19:27
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 171296

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

Terrible weather conditions today, I've just visited my 80 year old neighbour to ask if she needed anything from the shop.






Turns out she did, so I've given her my list too, no point in both of us going out in this weather.
by EmetEdadsBeard
17 Feb 2020, 19:24
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 171296

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

I came out of Asda earlier and there was a woman crying her eyes out. She’d lost all her holiday money that she’d been saving for months.



I felt so sorry for her I gave her £50...... I don’t usually do that kind of thing but I’d just found £2000 in the car park.
by EmetEdadsBeard
17 Feb 2020, 19:18
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 171296

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

I went into a pub and told this guy that my wife was about to give birth any day.
He said "that's nice, what are you having?"
I said "A pint of John Smiths please" :-D
by EmetEdadsBeard
17 Feb 2020, 19:15
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 171296

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

The last thing my grandfather said before he died was "Remember, it's worth spending money on a good set of speakers..."

Many by his bedside had puzzled looks on their faces, but to be honest, I actually thought it was sound advice.... =D
by EmetEdadsBeard
17 Feb 2020, 19:14
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 171296

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

Son : I was awarded the Leslie Nielsen badge at School





Father : What's that?





Son: It's a big building with lots of kids.
by EmetEdadsBeard
17 Feb 2020, 19:13
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 171296

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

I once missed a hairdressing appointment where I was going to get my hair cut short on top and at the front, and left long at the back.



Dodged a mullet there. :-/
by EmetEdadsBeard
17 Feb 2020, 19:08
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 171296

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all taking part in a new movie about classical composers.



"I think I'll play Beethoven!" declared Matt.



"I'd like the role of Mozart!" Brad decided.



"I'll be Bach." said Arnie... :bow:
by EmetEdadsBeard
17 Feb 2020, 19:01
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 171296

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

If someone makes their fortune in ships/tankers, we call him a shipping magnate....

If someone makes their fortune in oil, we call them an oil magnate....

What do you call someone who makes there fortune selling fridges?
by EmetEdadsBeard
19 Jan 2020, 10:37
Forum: Matchday Topics
Topic: AFC Fylde vs Torquay United 18/01/20
Replies: 71
Views: 31619

Re: AFC Fylde vs Torquay United 18/01/20

I went with the Time Bandit yesterday and thought the performance was decent tbh. OK they're no great shakes (albeit they have this strange delusion that they're going to be a league club by 2022) but Torquay dominated the first half and could have had three or four (their goal was much against the ...
by EmetEdadsBeard
09 Jan 2020, 21:37
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 171296

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

An acquaintance of mine pulled out a photo of his wife and said "she's beautiful isn't she".



" if you think she's beautiful you should see my missus mate", I replied



"Why is she a stunner?" he asked



" No mate, she's an optician" :-o
by EmetEdadsBeard
23 Dec 2019, 10:52
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 171296

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

Think I might’ve been targeted by a scam phone call the other day. The message said I’ve won a competition and the prize is either £100 or tickets to see an Elvis tribute act. It said to press 1 for the money or 2 for the show.
by EmetEdadsBeard
23 Dec 2019, 10:51
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 171296

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

A young Geordie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked "Do you have any sales experience?" The young man answered "Aye, hods, I was a canny salesman back in Newcastle." The manager liked the Geordie so he gave him the job. His first day on th...
by EmetEdadsBeard
28 Oct 2019, 11:43
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 171296

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

Mrs Beard crashed her car this morning.........

When the Police came she said the other bloke involved was on his mobile and eating a pie at the time.

The Police advised her the bloke was entitled to do what he wanted in his own conservatory. :-/
by EmetEdadsBeard
27 Oct 2019, 16:29
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 171296

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

My Grandad was a baker for the army....



When he went to war, he went in all buns glazing. :-/