Search found 1037 matches

by EmetEdadsBeard
19 Mar 2021, 17:06
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 172355

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

Last night I dreamed I'd played a football match on a surface of crushed concrete and broken bricks.

We won 4-3 on aggregate. :keepie:
by EmetEdadsBeard
15 Dec 2020, 17:45
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 172355

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

I wonder if Hank Marvin gets p'd off at being offered a sandwich whenever he introduces himself? :-|
by EmetEdadsBeard
31 Oct 2020, 21:08
Forum: Matchday Topics
Topic: National League - Hartlepool v Torquay United - BT Sport - 31/10/20 - 5:20pm KO
Replies: 67
Views: 9600

National League - Hartlepool v Torquay United - BT Sport - 31/10/20 - 5:20pm KO

Went to a handful of matches in the north last season, and never once saw the Jamie Reid that people raved about. What we saw was a lazy bottler who shyed out of the physical stuff, walked about watching the match and very occasionally coming to life. When he left it was (for some) like the sky had ...
by EmetEdadsBeard
02 Oct 2020, 18:44
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 172355

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

A mate of mine decided to get a tattoo of an Indian on his back.
As the tattooist was doing it he asked "Can you put a tomahawk in his right hand?"
He said "Hold on, I haven't finished his turban yet"
by EmetEdadsBeard
02 Oct 2020, 18:41
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 172355

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to the bartender " Excuse me, is this stool taken?"
by EmetEdadsBeard
02 Oct 2020, 18:39
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 172355

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

A mate of mine has put on a lot of weight recently so he rang weight watchers and said he needed their help, its urgent, can you send someone round?
They said yes we can, we have loads of them.
by EmetEdadsBeard
20 Sep 2020, 15:37
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 172355

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

My neighbour just walked by with two dogs.

I said to him, "I didn't know you had any dogs?"

He replied, "They're not my dogs. They're my sisters."

I said, "Wow, your sisters are really ugly!"
by EmetEdadsBeard
20 Sep 2020, 15:36
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 172355

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

Three of my mates died together in a tragic accident and they all went to heaven. When they got there, St. Peter greeted them and told them, “We only have one rule here in heaven. Don’t step on the ducks.” So, they enter heaven and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It’s almost impossi...
by EmetEdadsBeard
29 Jun 2020, 15:26
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 172355

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck." "I see your eyes are working," replies the duck. "And you can talk!" Exclaims the barman. "I see your ears are working, too," Says...
by EmetEdadsBeard
30 Apr 2020, 10:38
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 172355

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency. Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability. The couple produces photos of their 50-foot motor home, which is clean and well maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery. The social workers raise concerns about th...
by EmetEdadsBeard
23 Apr 2020, 14:06
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 172355

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

I got into an argument with a pikey once and he threatened to get his Dad, his Uncle and his brother to beat me up.

Imagine my relief when I discovered they are the same person :S
by EmetEdadsBeard
23 Apr 2020, 14:02
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 172355

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

Mrs Beard was so clever at school.

She got more A's than a scouser trying to break up a fight. :rofl:
by EmetEdadsBeard
06 Apr 2020, 13:20
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 172355

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

I’ve been off work that long due to this virus I’ve started to get a scouse accent...
by EmetEdadsBeard
25 Mar 2020, 18:20
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 172355

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

Mrs Beard absolutely ridiculed me when I said I was going to build my own bike made entirely of Spaghetti.



You should have seen her face when I rode straight pasta. :-/
by EmetEdadsBeard
07 Mar 2020, 09:04
Forum: The Plopside
Topic: FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips
Replies: 836
Views: 172355

FUNNY Jokes, FUNNY Tubes & FUNNY Video Clips

:nod: A mate of mine was rushed to hospital after being shot over 200 times by a upholstery gun.



Thankfully doctors say he in now fully recovered. :nod: