Torquay United Fans Forum

Just got back and want to disagree with a few posts on here. The first pen was a blatant and embarassing dive, the second was harsh but was a definate penalty. So gutted that we had the points in the bag only to lose so cruelly. The ref was an absolute disgrace to his profession today as were both ...

Just got back, and I can assure you all they were both stitched on Pens. Anyone who says otherwise is either the blind fan who I last saw at Shrewsbury about 8 years ago or knows nothing about football. Saying that they should have been out of sight by then. It was a very open game, but Gulls had mo...

Is it nice then? How much is it we like a drop of the grape juice.

Beardy, while we may have to disagree on this point, please pass on my wholehearted congratulations to the Tache for being a top bloke and a proper man. Nothing in life makes me more ashamed to be a football fan than when a rugby lad raises the whole "Yeah, but your lot are a bunch of fairies&...

A little boy is walking along the road dragging a flattened frog on a piece of string. He walks up to the local brothel and knocks on the door. When the madam answers he says, “I want to have sex with your dirtiest, diseased girl and I ve got £500 to spend.” The ...

Three tortoises, Jim, Ray and Geoff go for a picnic in a park ten miles away, It takes them ten days to get there, and when they arrive they realise they've forgotten the bottle opener. Jim and Ray ask Geoff to fetch it as he's the quickest. "F*ck off" says Geoff, "By the time I get b...

Many men have nicknames for their cocks. Mine was given to me by my girlfriend while she was giving me head. She named it 'The Impaler' yes the Impaler! Or at least thats what I thought she said'
Turns out she was asthmatic, and its my fault she died..................

Firstly, OUCHIE. Secondly, I fail to agree with you on the whole, side of the ankle thing. In fact, I submit that my elderly Grandmother, who is frail and unsteady, would have been able to correct her balance given the unlikely occurrence of identical circumstances. I see the VERY minor deflection ...

A quicky for now (the story i spent about 20 minutes typing last night diappeared for some reason)

Whats orange and sounds like a Parrot?














A Carrot!
(Best when drunk) :mrgreen:

Trojan 67 wrote:The two jokes above :

Angling for 'Member of the Month' votes, although the first one doesn't look like a good idea on hindsight! :Oops:

Quite right Mr Beard. To my mind (I make no secret of my long held admiration for Man Utd) we have here a deeply confusing situation where we have a challenge which is not a foul, but has correctly resulted in the award of a penalty. Allow me to elaborate. The contact made on Berbatov by the defend...

Infant teacher in Plymouth asks the class who supports Argyle. All put their hands up except little Jimmy. Teacher asks who he supports and Jimmy says "Torquay United". Teacher asks why and Jimmy says "My parents both come from there and support them so I do too" Teacher says &qu...

Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day resting. He enquired of God, 'Where have you been?' God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?' 'It's a planet,...

Newcastle 1-3 Tottenham Wolverhampton 2-2 Liverpool K/O 12:45 Derby 1-1 Nott'm Forest K/O 13:00 Cardiff 2-0 Watford Leicester 1-1 Millwall Bournemouth 0-?0 Brighton Peterborough 1-0 Hartlepool Port Vale 2-0 Cheltenham Stevenage 2-1 Morecambe Wycombe 2-2 Rotherham Full Time: Torquay 2-1 Gillingham Ha...

Chelsea 2-0 Blackburn Stoke 2-2 Bolton Fulham 1-2 Wigan Bristol City 0-1 Middlesborough Hull 1-0 Barnsley Brighton 3-1 Peterborough Sheff Weds 2-0 Charlton Burton 3-0 Macclesfield Chesterfield 2-1 Stevenage Oxford 1-1 Bradford Full Time: Morecambe 1-2 Torquay Half Time: Morecambe 1-1 Torquay First T...